big newssss

So here we are... FRIDAY. thank god. i havent written in here in quite some time. busy.. perhaps.. or maybe just to lazy to jot down my thoughts. lol. so let me fill you in. I finally went into the city last saturday to vist my cousin from my mother's side. This is the second time i have seen him in 17 years. HAH. we had alota fun. we went out to Chevy's, a mexican restaurant in NYC for lunch, did some shopping (got some new jeans lol), went out to dinner at fridays, and just caught up. He is older than me... by ten years to be exact. but the age really doesnt matter, we get along nicely. =) . I didnt want to leave the city on saturday, it stinks when you finally meet a long lost relative, i feel like your on a time limit. West coast meets east coast. lol. Well.. i have bigger news.. that im still not sure what i am going to do. My cousin Paul gave me my mother's phone number in Japan. I havent seen, nor spoke to her since i was 2. So it was pretty overwhelming. its so crazy that its been 17 years. that is quite some time. im not really sure how i feel about the whole situation yet. excited, nervous, scared, mad. i kinda felt them all, but then again, i sure have reason to. i do want to call, but at the same time i dont. Of course everyone says a child needs a mother... but i never had one.. and if you ask me, i think i came out quite alright. ive had my moments of crying and screamin that i wanted my mother, but i soon got over it, and now that i can actually have contact with her im not sure if i do. This is a big decision and it definately takes some time... so we will see. She is my mom, and i do love her with all my heart, but its like at the same time she's a complete stranger to me. I'm also a little hesitant because i dont want to hurt my father. Dont get me wrong, he supports me 100%. He feels i have a right to know who my mother is, and if thats what i want to do, i should do what makes me feel happy. But at the same time, i know it makes him upset. i dont know, i just feel like my sister and i are all that my dad has, and for some reason i think that he thinks that if i talk to my mother again, we are going to get up and leave him for her. BUT THAT HAS NEVER EVEN CROSSED MY MIND. never ever ever would i ever leave my daddy. He has done everything and anything throughout my life. He not only played the father... but my mommy too... and oh man do i feel bad for him lol. I always dreamed about having a happy family. a mom, a dad, my sister and me. but its always just been me my dad and my sister... and nothing can break the 3 of us. we may have our hard times.... but in the end everything always works out. makes us stronger i guess... =P . anywho... yea so thats the news. i have some pics of my adventure into NYC ... enjoy.

Recap.

today is such a beautiful day. i love it when its so nice out, it always puts me in a better mood. So my boyfriend took me out to dinner Monday night. I chose to go to Poppei's because i was absolutely craving seafood bisque.... which i may say was amazing. Yes so i ate my heart out, seafood bisque, stuft mushrooms, surf and turf for dinner... oh man was it good. After the great dinner i met up with my sister and her boyfriend and we went to Andrews hockey game. Monday night was the playoffs so it was a pretty big game. They were winning the whole time up until the LAST 9 SECONDS..... and then the other team scored. we went into overtime... for about ten minutes and then the other team scored the winning goal. So no, andrew's team did not win, but i dont think that matters, they played with heart and thats all that counts. i personally think the other team didnt deserve to win. They were the number one team in the league, however, for all the wrong reasons. They are the type of team to trip, hit, check and do absolutely anothing and everything to win. they nag to get the opposing teams penalized and all that. it is just absoluelty wrong. And then of course we have the referee's that honeslty dont care and just take sides with the people they are friends with and stuff, but whatever, im over it. and at least it was fun while it lasted. Over the weekend i volunteered to raise money for charity by sellin ice cream outside of my dads Eckerd. I only raised $55 dollars but at least it was something. It is for the Children's Miracle Network. Its an alliance of all the premier hospitals for children. They try to raise money for all those children who are suffering and are sick, that really cant enjoy their childhood. I am actually doing it again this weekend at the Eckerd out in Smithtown. For me, its a sense of accomplishment to help those that really dont have a voice of their own. i dont know, i enjoy it. My boyfriend STILL didnt give me my birthday present yet, mayb today is the lucky day, even though i already know what it is lol. But he is also getting me something else, and that present, no one knows but him, so tara cant slip and tell me this time. lol. I had a pretty good dinner last night as well. I got off at 6pm my sister and her boyfriend came over, we played some old school nintendo for the night, which was pretty cool and we ordered La Roma, an italian pizzeria. mmmm. i had the best dinner, Tortalini Carbonara with bacon sweet peas and onions in a cream sauce. it was pretty amazing lol. I like spending time with my sister, especially now that we are older and she moved out. I remember the days that we were inseperable, doing anything and everything together and being the best of friends. i still see her as one of my best friends but now shes all grown up, moved out, doing her own thing, and well of course im happy for her, just miss having her around and having her knock on my bedroom door at 2am asking if she can sleep in my bed with me. lol. haha those were the days. I havent seen tara in quite some time. she stopped by my house ealry sunday morning (and woke me up) lol but we hung out for about 20 mminutes before she went into the city. i will say.. i do miss her. so far its been a good week. i woke up this morning to the dogs face in mine and drool oozing out of his mouth lol. he is so cute, just like a little baby, and lucky him he is outside soaking up all that good sun. lol. well i think my blogging has come to an end for the day. farewell. good bye. adios. Gut tschüs. peace outtt. =)

finally friiiiidayy

ah, what a day. the sun is shining, the breeze is just right, the birds are chirping and where am i, oh yes, im stuck inside the good ol' SPL. hah. well i really shouldnt complain because i do love it here, but on days like this... i should be outside getting my tan on lol. wow. i actually cant believe its friday already... where the hell did this week go?! time goes by fast when your.... having fun? lol. so i think i had an eventful week. My boyfriends hockey team won their game on wednesday night, which is awesome because now they are going into the finals. i love going to his hockey games and supporting the team. i guess you can say im one of those girlfriends that stands on the bleachers and screams and claps and stomps her feet. honestly if you ask me, if you went to a hockey game with a bunch of good looking young men you would be doing the same thing lol support is good, i think it makes them better, but maybe thats just me. Andrew told me he is going out to get me my birthday present this weekend.... the suspense is killing me. i LOVE surprises.... but hate them at the same time... especially when everyone knows but me. but i am sure that it will be worth the wait, and i seem to have a tendency to always ruin my own surprises so i think ill let this one go..... just this once. =) Yes, so my pup Jayk turned the big "1" on Wednesday and i let him be the king for the day. sleeping on the bed, extra treats, a whole bunch of love, i think he enjoyed it. i have to go out this weekend to get him his present.. A NEW BED!!! im sure he will be very happy, well not as happy as he would be if i let him sleep with me but i think it will work. i cant wait until i get older and i can have all the pups in the world. instead of being a cat-lady, ill be a dog-lady lol. yes, so i found a car that i am very interested in, just have to save up enough money to buy it.... then once i get my car i can get my life on the right path....... an education. still unsure exactly what i wanna go for, beauty, culinary arts, performing arts, who knows, but i think ill settle that matter at a later date. Cinco de Mayo is tomorrow, along with my boyfriends ice hockey game. i dont think i really have much planned, just the same old crap. No drama has really happened at all recently, well no drama really worth talking about or that has any importance... hah no drama. thats a first, maybe its because i really havent seen tara lol. no no im just kidding, life just been pretty quiet the past couple of days, and if you ask me...... it was a good week. =) ... but we will see.... there is always the weekend. =)

the start of something new.....

okay, so we are starting a new program at work, i guess to get us aquainted with using tools on the internet. nothing really new for me, but i guess something different to break me away from the same daily work routine. Yes well, the library, i enjoy it here. Yes i do get paid to work in a library. lol everyone always asks me that lol. i love the people i work with. they are like family to me, i mean c'mon i think i see them more than i see my own father. yes, right now i would say i really dont have many complaints. which is odd, because i will admit i do tend to complain. hah. hmmm... whats something i can complain about. oh yes, well i do need a car. mine kinda pooped out on me, so now im stuck sharing with my dad. =P ok enough of all that complaining mumbo jumbo, this is my first blog.. what? what was that? you wanna know a little bit more about me??? why didnt you just say so? well sure, lets begin:

- im currently 19... finally.

- im japanese-italian, so if you ask me, i have the best of both worlds.

- i absolutely adore my pup jayk. He may be a monster, but i wouldnt want him any other way.

- cell phone, keys, wallet. never leave home without them.

-i live for iced coffee and diet peach snapple.

- patience is not my strong point.

- i tend to do things that are silly, but thats just me enjoying my life.

- i have two mottos that i live by:
1. never judge a book by its cover.
2. Dont say things unless you mean it.

- i have dyed my hair thousands of times.

- my family may not be perfect, but they're perfect for me.

- i do everything at my own pace, dont try to push me.

- i may be young, but after everything ive been through, im wise beyond my years.

- my friends are my life. i would do anything for them.

- im a lover not a fighter; but i have no problem telling you whats on my mind.

- i am a very honest person, so if you dont want to hear the truth, dont bother asking.

- i want to be a model.

- my lifetime goal is to be on billboards all across NYC.

- the movie Amercan History X made me cry... a lot.

- i have been in love, i have had my heart broken, and i will say it was the worst pain ive ever been through.

- ive learned the hard way to never take things for granted.

- i feel like some people are too anal about life. loosen up and actually enjoy it, you only live once.

- i cant sit in a car without any music.

- ive been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 7 months, and i love him with all my heart.

- i miss the old days.

- change kinda scares me.

- i love the beach but hate the ocean.

- ive never flown on a plane.

- i hate people who are fake.

- i love deep conversations about absolutely nothing.

- i love taking pictures.

- old school christmas lights are my favorite.

- halloween is the best holiday, without a doubt.

- i love working with kids, seeing how easily amused they can be makes me happy.

- i am a certified teachers aid.

- i love to cook, my steak and potatoes is my specialty.

- there is a difference between confidant and cocky. never mix the two.

- if you want to know more, just ask.